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Happy, healthy sexual relationships can be an important part of your overall well-being — but sexual health isn’t something that comes up in every doctor’s appointment. The ways that living with obesity can affect your libido (sex drive) can be a sensitive topic.
If you’ve noticed weight has impacted your libido, you’re not alone. People of all genders and sexualities who are living with obesity may experience changes in their sexual desire due to physical, emotional, and hormonal factors.
By understanding the impact of weight on libido, you can be empowered to take steps to boost your sexual health and self-confidence. In this article, we’ll explore how weight can influence sex drive, including the role of hormones and mental health and what you can do to take control over your sexual wellness.
It’s worth noting that there is no “correct” amount of sex. Sex drive varies significantly from person to person, and it’s normal for the amount of desire you feel to fluctuate over the course of your life.
Hormones are chemical messengers that regulate many aspects of your health, including libido. For people living with obesity, hormone imbalances can be a significant factor affecting sexual desire.
In people with testes, testosterone is the most important hormone driving libido. Obesity has been linked to lower levels of testosterone in the body, a condition also called “hypogonadism.” That’s because fat cells, especially fat cells in the abdomen, convert testosterone into another hormone called estrogen.
As a result, obesity may be associated not only with lower testosterone levels but also with higher estrogen levels. This combination has been shown to reduce sexual desire and cause erectile dysfunction. Low testosterone may also lead to fatigue, lowered muscle mass, increased abdominal fat, and mood changes.
On the flip side, weight loss can help replenish testosterone levels. One study found that after bariatric surgery — a type of weight loss surgery — participants saw a significant improvement in erectile function.
In people with ovaries, estrogen and progesterone nor only regulate the menstrual cycle but also impact sexual desire. Fat cells can increase estrogen levels, disrupting the hormonal balance. In fact, one study published in the journal Medicina de Familia stated that up to 70 percent of women with obesity deal with sexual dysfunction.
This often leads to irregular menstrual cycles, polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), and lowered libido. Some people with obesity also report vaginal dryness or discomfort during penetration. This can make intimacy physically uncomfortable and frustrating for you and your partner.
Sex drive isn’t all about biology — it’s also impacted by your mental state.
In a society that often values thinness and stigmatizes obesity, some people with obesity face low self-esteem and poor body image. If you’re not feeling confident in your own skin, you may be inclined to avoid intimacy with new or existing partners.
No matter how supportive and loving your partner is, these negative feelings can create emotional distance. Over time, these feelings can make sexual experiences feel more stressful than enjoyable. It can impact even the healthiest of relationships.
People with obesity have been found to have higher rates of depression and anxiety than people without obesity. These mental health disorders have a direct effect on libido.
Although antidepressants can be essential in regulating your mood, they may also have sexual side effects like reduced desire or difficulty achieving orgasm. When emotional health suffers, so can interest in intimacy. Some antidepressants can also cause weight gain.
People with obesity are at higher risk for other medical conditions that may impact their sex life. These conditions include joint pain and sleep apnea. Sex is a physical experience and for some people with obesity, pain and fatigue may interfere with it.
Carrying extra weight can cause strain on the joints and muscles, leading to chronic pain or discomfort. This can make certain sexual positions difficult or unenjoyable. It can also make the idea of sex feel exhausting and uncomfortable rather than exciting and fun.
Obesity is a risk factor for obstructive sleep apnea (OSA), a condition where breathing stops and starts over and over again while you’re sleeping. This leads to fatigue during the daytime, which can impact your mood and sexual interest.
One well-known risk factor for erectile dysfunction is cardiovascular disease, or damage to the heart and blood vessels due to high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Not all people with obesity have cardiovascular disease, but the two diseases often co-occur. While this disease increases the risk for heart attack and stroke, it also directly impacts blood’s ability to flow to the genitals. This decreases a person’s ability to achieve and maintain an erection.
Sexual desire in relationships is deeply connected to the mood and feelings of your partner. When one or both partners are struggling with the physical and mental effects of obesity on sex drive, relationship stress may arise. Changes in libido, body image concerns, or sexual function challenges can create feelings of distance, frustration, or misunderstanding between partners.
That’s why open communication is essential in any partnership. It’s easier said than done, but discussing needs, preferences, and feelings with a partner can relieve tension. Together, you can brainstorm new ways to connect emotionally and physically.
The good news is that many of the factors we discussed above are manageable. Here are a few steps to take if you’ve found that your body weight is affecting your sex drive.
Steps that you take to improve your overall health — such as through movement, nourishing foods, and restorative sleep — will make a huge impact on your sex drive. Exercise can both boost mood and body confidence, which can contribute to a healthier sex life. In addition, weight loss — both from lifestyle changes and from surgery — has been found to restore the balance of hormones in your body, increase energy levels, and reduce physical limitations such as erectile dysfunction. If you have sleep issues, especially sleep apnea, a diagnostic test and treatment may be required to get the quality of sleep you need.
If physical limitations like joint pain are a barrier to your sex life, you and your partner should try experimenting with different sexual positions or activities that feel comfortable and pleasurable. Sexual health isn’t only about intercourse — it’s about closeness, touch, and communication.
Couples may also benefit from seeing a sex therapist or counselor, especially if intimacy has put a damper on their relationship outside of the bedroom.
Mental health is closely tied to sexual health. If depression, anxiety, or body image struggles are affecting your libido, it can be empowering to seek help. Some mental health treatment options that can make a big difference include therapy, support groups, and medication.
You should feel open to talk with your healthcare provider about your libido just as you would any other physical or mental health symptoms. Your doctor can evaluate your hormone levels, screen for related health conditions, and discuss treatment options with you. If your low sex drive is found to be more related to your mental health than physical health, they can help set you up with a therapist who focuses on sexual desire or body image concerns.
Having your physician be keyed into challenges in your sex life can have big impacts on your sexual quality of life and overall wellness.
On MyObesityTeam, the social network for people with obesity and their loved ones, more than 57,000 members come together to ask questions, give advice, and share their stories with others who can relate to their experiences living with obesity.
Have you found your sex drive to be affected by your weight? How has living with obesity affected your sexual relationships? Share your experience in the comments below, or start a conversation by posting on your Activities page.
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