Being diagnosed with obesity may have a negative effect on how you see yourself — especially how you feel about certain parts of your body, like your arms. “I’m getting ready to go to work. I was in a good mood until I noticed just how big my upper arms are,” one MyObesityTeam member shared.

Low self-esteem and negative body image issues can feel even worse when you face weight stigma — unfair treatment or judgment based on your size. Sometimes people make hurtful comments and gestures. “You know what I mean — when the soft fat rolls down over your elbows, and everyone is always pinching and poking at them to embarrass you,” one MyObesityTeam member wrote.

These experiences can lead to harsh self-judgment. If you find it hard to love your arms or another part of your body, you can take steps to boost your self-confidence and quality of life.

1. Practice Gratitude for Your Body

Instead of focusing on what your body can’t do, pay attention to all that it does. For example, your arms help you live your life every day. You might use your arms for:

• Picking up a child
• Giving someone a hug
• Creating art
• Putting together a puzzle
• Preparing meals for yourself or others

You can practice this way of thinking by writing a list and posting it where you’ll see it often. You can also say the items aloud like a mantra or an affirmation (positive statement). When you’re feeling down, try stating something like, “I’m grateful for my arms because they help me cook dinner,” or “My arms help me care for my family.” You can say this over and over until you change the way you think.

2. Move in Ways You Enjoy

Instead of focusing on a workout or physical activity for weight loss, do something that makes you feel good about your body or puts you near people you love. Maybe you enjoy walking, dancing, swimming, biking, or paddleboarding. You might like lifting weights, stretching, or playing with your kids or pets. What’s important is that the activity feels good to you and fits into your life.

Movement can also lift your mood and boost your mental health. A practice such as yoga may be an important part of your journey toward overall wellness and body positivity.

3. Accept That Some Days Will Be Harder

It’s normal to have tough days and negative thoughts about yourself. These are just thoughts — they’re not facts, and they don’t define who you are.

When you accept that these feelings might come and go, they may become less overwhelming. Try letting these insecurities pass through and drift away, realizing that you don’t have to believe everything your mind says. Learning to live alongside these thoughts — without letting them take over — can help you feel more at peace with yourself, even on rough days.

4. Avoid Negative Self-Talk

Pay attention to how you regularly talk to yourself throughout the day. You might look in a mirror and complain to yourself about your arms, and then your entire body or even your whole self.

Start asking yourself if this negative self-talk reflects reality or if your point of view is skewed. “I never see myself the way I am,” reported one MyObesityTeam member. “I’m my own worst critic.”

If that sounds familiar, try to gently shift your inner voice. Remind yourself that you’re a strong, resilient person, and you’ve already made it through so much. A hopeful, encouraging inner dialogue will help you remember who you are and what is most important to you.

One MyObesityTeam member recommended this to another who was feeling down: “Every day, take a moment to look in the mirror and tell yourself, ‘I am beautiful inside and out.’ Say it every day until you believe it.”

5. Choose Clothes You Feel Good About

Wear clothes that feel good and boost your confidence, no matter what your body size or class of obesity. Look for comfortable outfits that reflect your style. When you wear clothes you enjoy, it can be easier to feel good about yourself and how you appear to others.

Avoid buying clothes that are too small as a way to motivate yourself to lose weight. That often backfires and leads to more self-criticism. Wear what fits you now and helps you feel your best today.

If your body size is changing, it might take time to figure out what works for you. It’s OK to shop around, return items, or try new stores until you find pieces you truly like. You may need time to learn what feels good for parts of your body you’re still learning to accept — like your arms. When you do, you may experience more self-confidence and self-acceptance and a more positive body image.

6. Take Time for Self-Care

Taking care of your body in ways that make you feel loved, beautiful, or simply at ease can help boost your self-esteem. Small acts of self-care aren’t just about looks — they’re about showing yourself kindness.

Some MyObesityTeam members practice this regularly. One shared, “I am working on things to raise my self-esteem — posture, hair, grooming. Tonight, I am doing my nails. Every little bit helps.” Another member added, “When you get your hair and nails done and dress nice, you feel better.”

You don’t have to spend a lot to pamper yourself a little. You might give yourself a manicure with your favorite nail polish, put on a cozy outfit, or take a few minutes to stretch and breathe deeply. Just a bit of self-care may do wonders for both your emotional state and your physical appearance.

7. Keep Supportive People Close

When you’re feeling down about your arms — or any part of your body — try to spend time with positive, uplifting people. Being around family, friends, or community members who accept and support you can help lift you up.

At the same time, it’s OK to take a step back from people who make you feel judged or put down. You may not be able to control everything about your life, but you can choose to foster relationships with kind, encouraging people who help you feel safe, valued, and more like yourself.

Talk to Your Doctor

If low self-esteem is affecting your mental or emotional health, it’s important to talk with your healthcare provider. They can help directly or connect you with someone who can, like a counselor or therapist. “I’m actually starting counseling to help my self-esteem and myself, and it really does work,” one MyObesityTeam member shared.

Your doctor should listen without judgment and help you get the support you need. Reaching out is a step toward feeling better — about your arms, your entire body, and yourself.

Find Your Team

MyObesityTeam is the social network for people with obesity and their loved ones. On MyObesityTeam, more than 57,000 members come together to ask questions, give advice, and share their stories with others who understand life with obesity.

Has your sense of self-worth changed with your body weight? How do you invest in feeling good about yourself? Share your experience in the comments below, or start a conversation by posting on your Activities page.