I have lost myself, when I was young I was very pretty, and that's all I had going for me, I know now you are more than what you look like, but for people that's what they judge you on.

I have 2 answers. #1 is basic bloodwork - thyroid, A1C, Vit D etc.
#2 What is MOST important to you. Not just who but WHAT?
I think those 2 answers will point you back to who you are, who you want to be, or at least have a place to start from.
This bloodwork was a major game-changer for me. Oh, and don't rely on a nurse or Dr to tell you if your bloodwork is good. Get a copy and look everything up yourself to find out what is good, not good. (I had 2 Drs and 3 nurses misguide me and I ended up collapsing ... needed blood and iron infusion) ...... and the #2 is we tend to answer "my family, my kids" here. Believe it or not, you need to peel that back and look at YOU... one day the kids will be grown and gone, and your family dynamics change too. Parents need care. So, you really gotta look at YOU. Beyond weight. Beyond looks completely. The person of you. Start a journal. What kind of youtubes do you like to watch (if any, or some other media) ? What do you LIKE to do in your spare moments? Hair? Makeup? Nails? None of those? Walking? Going out? Making things? Explore. Eventually you'll find YOUR path. Wishing you the very best. The very best is just ahead. :)

I feel the same too. Some days I look at my body and think of how much better I would feel about myself if I could just be who I used to be. I was slimmer, more active, and I feel like people treated me much differently back then. I also find myself to be a bit more grumpy these days and I hate that side of me. I would like to just enjoy living but I also want to be happy with me, as a whole. Inside and out. I guess I either better start hopping on my elliptical and watching what I eat or I'll have to just learn to love my flabby bits... Anna, you still are very pretty and I know what you mean, most people do judge us on how we look after ourselves. It's a shame because I've recently moved to where I am now and have found it very hard to make friends here. I've never had that problem, ever.

I struggle were to start to be honest!!

I have not been successful except in two areas: 1) I won"t give up and, 2) I will keep looking for strategies to get this done.